I'm Pretty! I'm A Bad Man!

Never ever forget who The Greatest is.

PCQOTD : 4-6-06

Plebian:
"If you won’t scold and dominate us we will never give you cause to hate us."

Erudite:
"Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face."

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, DEATH!

So here's a stream of consciousness for you.

Today's PCQOTD featured a reference to the utterly crappy-looking Beverly Hillbillies movie. Ben mentioned that Dolly Parton was in it, a fact I did not know. So I looked it up on IMDB, and sure enough, there she is. I then noticed that Buddy Ebsen, Uncle Jed from the original tv series of The Beverly Hillbillies, had a cameo as his other tv character, Barnaby Jones. Well, says I, I like Barnaby Jones, maybe I should watch this film after all, if for no other reason than to enjoy a favourite character. So that got me to thinking about a web project I've had in the back of my mind for some time, a site celebrating the fabulous over-the-top detective/adventure tv series that were produced by Quinn Martin. So I look up ol' Quinn's biography just for the fun of it, and find that he was once married to a woman named Muffet Webb.

And her name amused me so much, I had to make this post about it. Enjoy.

PCQOTD : 4-5-6

Plebian:
"They just use your mind and they never give you credit; it’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it."

Erudite:
"I got to have a long talk with that boy."

No Picture Necessary

Some 98 year old guy just walked into where I work and said he was going to sue us for violating his democracy.

Good luck, buddy.

PCQOTD : 3-4-06

Plebian:
"Oh pooh.. I’m not afraid of you. Why, you’re nothing but a pack of cards."

Erudite:
"Who's Yehoodi?"

Manders vs El Gigante

Photo_040206_026
Originally uploaded by TedHobgood.

On 4/2/06, a bunch of us went out to Bandido's in Carrboro to get some dinner. Amanda Dorich announced that she was going to order El Gigante--and finish it! We, of course, didn't believe for a second that that would happen, so we put money on it. And we lost.

Click here for the gutbomb.

PCQOTD : 4-3-06

Plebian:
"Snakes...why did it have to be snakes?"

Erudite:
"May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

I Love White Egg

This amuses me. You'll probably hate it. G'wan, CLICK IT!

PCQOTD : 3-31-06

Plebian:
"...that's the name, and away go troubles down the drain."

Erudite:
"What a gulla-bull. What a nin-cow-poop."

Could I Have A Farthing, Father?

Here's a cool little Wikipedia article on the history of British coinage. It's an interesting read for anybody that reads far too much Sherlock Holmes or Agatha Christie. Check out the section on pre-decimalization, where they explain shillings and pence and the many ways to write down denominations. The canonical list of coinage at the bottom is a fun read through. (I’ll gladly give you a Double Leopard on Tuesday for a hamburger today!)

PCQOTD : 3-30-06

Plebian:
"But square-cut or pear-shaped these rocks won’t lose their shape."

Erudite:
"Did the maid ever drop you on your head when you were a baby?"
"Don't be silly, George, we couldn't afford a maid. My mother had to do it."

I Am...Undefeatable!

This may be the worst martial arts fight scene ever filmed. The styles are bad, the execution is bad, the haircuts are cheesy, and the incessant "punch-scream"ing is annoying. Plus, what looks like a bad female impersonator shows up halfway through, which scared the shit out of me. i think it's actually Cynthia Rothrock, but boy does she look bad. She also apparently broke her arm, but since she's the only recognizable person in the movie, she fights anyway. Amazingly bad.

Toys For Your Kids

From famed kids' toymaker Ideal comes the Sure Shot Hover Blaster, also known as "Shoot The Menorah"! It's the perfect gift for the young anti-Semite in your household. Buy one today, and enjoy all the thrills that come from pointing a gun at a holy symbol of the Hebrew people.

PCQOTD : 3-29-06

Plebian:
"A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing."

Erudite:
"I'd better put on my patented Stuponitron helmet."

Holy Sound Effects!

Okay, this rules. Somebody has captured a whole bunch of screencaps of the illustrated sound effects from the fight scenes in the old Adam West Batman tv series. The page has the wonderfully Argentinian title of Las Onomatopeyas. Go by and check it out!

This page, on the same site, is hilarious too. It lists the sound effects used by episode: reading them in a list is almost like poetry.

PCQOTD : 3-28-06

Plebian:
"We would be warm below the storm in our little hideaway beneath the waves."

Erudite:
"Mmmm...gummy Venus de Milo."

Get your own Cyborg Name.

Lemonade: That Cool Refreshing Drink

I love stumbling across odd websites. I also love people who are overly obsessed with a particular subject. Today's discovery is elvisconcerts.com. This site catalogs 1,145 concerts that Elvis performed, with an amazing and ridiculous amount of minutia about each one, including attendance, showtime, and songs performed. You can search the concerts by date, location, song, and tour. All of that is pretty incredible, but it's not enough to get me to mention it here on my blog. No, what tipped elvisconcerts.com over the top is that you can search by jumpsuit. Yes, if you want to know when The King wore his Royal Blue Fireworks suit or Mad Tiger suit, or perhaps when he sported the lovely Blue Prehistoric Bird suit that you remember so fondly from 1976, you can easily find it at elvisconcerts.com. In all, they've catalogued some 85 jumpsuits in over a thousand colourful appearances. They've even gone so far as to indicate when he wore a belt from one jumpsuit with a different outfit. I love obsession.

(Pictured is the Darkblue Gypsy suit with the Red Armadillo belt, as worn in the Greensboro Colisseum on July 21, 1975. The concert began with "See See Rider" and ended with "Can't Help Falling In Love".)

For more Elvis action, be sure to check out the website I designed for the world's greatest Elvis impersonator, Keith Henderson.

PCQOTD : 3-27-06

Plebian:
"A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination."

Erudite:
"Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream."

Creativity

I just re-stumbled over this little Flash animation, and wanted to share it with one and all. Even if you don't like the Saturday Night Live skit this was inspired by (The Roxbury Guys, aka "that What Is Love sketch"), this little thing is enjoyable. They took a loop from the car driving segment of the sketch, and redid it in seventeen different styles. I love this sort of creativity, and I'd really like to do something in this vein myself, especially if it involved collaborating with a group of people, each person doing their own version on a theme, and then combining them into one vehicle.

Anyway, enjoy this. I particularly loved the last one.

You Face The Fontmaster

I like comic books as much as the next geek, but I'm more of a DC man than a Marvel man, so I don't have as deep a knowledge of arcane Marvel characters as some people I know. Today I stumbled across a Marvel villain that amused the heck out of me. If you're a graphic designer, you may get an extra chuckle out of this guy as well. Meet Typeface.

PCQOTD : 3-24-06

Plebian:
"It takes a licking and keeps on ticking."

Erudite:
"We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!"

Videogaming Now...And Then

Amusing side-by-side comparison of videogames back in the day to the present. I still love me some pixellated goodness. Chekkit out.

PCQOTD : 3-23-06

Apologies for the lack of a PCQOTD for yesterday; I was home from work. Today's set is a good one.

Plebian:
"Made with seven kinds of fruit for a one of a kind fruit taste."

Erudite:
"Nippit! Nip-it-in-the-bud!"

PCQOTD : 3-21-06

Plebian:
"Lifts and separates."

Erudite:
"Men grow cold as girls grow old."

A Polar Bear Eating Vanilla Ice Cream

This amused the heck out of me for some reason. Comic book geekery meets kindergarten-level pictorial joke. Now I want to see Black Panther fight The Shadow Thief in a coal mine at midnight. Enjoy.

PCQOTD : 3-20-06

Plebian:
"No such person, no such zone."

Erudite:
"Don't take your love away from me, don't you leave my heart in misery."

Draining Away

Recently I won an audition for the central figure in a Stormwater PSA; I play a tough-talking storm drain. The spot will be playing in rotation on WCHL soon. Give it a listen here.

PCQOTD : 3-17-06

Plebian:
"I carry a badge."

Erudite:
"Say the secret word and divide a hundred dollars."

PCQOTD : 3-17-06

Plebian:
"Pleased to meet you; hope you guessed my name."

Erudite:
"All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl."

Crazy Birds

It's only like seven seconds. Watch it. It's good for a cheap giggle.

Oh Baby

So at the end of the work day, my friend Brantley sends me an email entitled "I found the next Mrs. Hobgood". Inside the email was the link to this video. He knows me far too well.

Wastin' Time, Kickin' Ass

I felt like posting something to the ol' blog, if for no other reason than to break up the string of PCQOTD back-to-back with PCQOTD, but couldn't find anything particularly earth-shattering to share with everybody. So for lack of any better subject, here's a few selections from the "games" category in my bookmarks. Start enjoying yourself, pronto.

Pictured, we have a lovely little selection entitled "Dropkick The Punks", from the Faint song of the same name. Basically, you control an angry mohawked fellow, riling him up in the parking lot until he has enough energy to charge into the club and dropkick some fool off the stage. It's in the same vein as the first Yeti game, but with a punk edge to it. It's amusing.

Bookworm is actually one of my all-time favourite little games. It combines Scrabble with Boggle with a hungry worm. You try and connect letters to spell words, but they're Scrabble tiles, so you score based on the labelled number on the tile. There are bonus tiles and bonus words, but the best part is the flaming tiles that appear when you repeatedly submit lameass words.

3D Minesweeper is the classic timewaster Minesweeper, but mapped to a huge sphere, so that you are playing the game in, yes, 3D.

I think we've covered Tobby Crane before on this blog. Horribly addictive.

Sticking with the wacky Japanese game theme, we find one of the oddest in a little thing I like to call Nanaca Crash. Actually, that's what the makers call the game. I call it "Anime Girl Smashes The Crap Out Of Pretty Boy And Sends Him Into The Stratosphere". It's in the same vein as Yeti or Dropkick The Punks, but with a rockin' musical track and the ability to warp in and keep whackin' the guy to make him go farther. Your timing on the warps either sends him higher or lower, and there are obstacles along the way in the form of people that may help or hinder your progress. Be ready for the Special Attack!

Six Feet Under is a twist on the popularity of the Yeti game. You're controlling a hearse driving to the graveyard. Frantically tap the right arrow to get your speed up. Before you hit the brick wall at the cemetary, press the space bar to brake, and send the coffin flying. I love the graphics and the animations in this one. There are different scenarios for different distances, so it pays to be a bad player occasionally.

These are just silly. Flash versions of classic games from tv shows. For some reason, I can play the Tic Tac Dough one over and over and still be amused. Or bemused.

How many balls can you destroy? In Chaos Theory, a series of blue balls move across the screen. You judge when and where to set off an explosion that will make each ball it touches explode, setting off a chain reaction. Surprisingly captivating.

PCQOTD : 3-15-06

Plebian:
"Reach out and touch someone."

Erudite:
"Read a bestseller every day."

PCQOTD : 3-14-06

Plebian:
"Stop, Snidely Whiplash, in the name of the law!"

Erudite:
"I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending, won't let 'em get the best of me. Whoa whoa whoa."

Erudite 2 (with Connection 2, and no, it's not that they're both cartoons. Here's a hint on the Connection: Kit corrected me on it once on a previous PCQOTD):
"Watch out for that tree!"

Photoshoppin'

Ethan Blast
Originally uploaded by TedHobgood.

I've had this stuck in my head for a while, and finally had to just sit down and do it. It's hard to photoedit with a mouse, but it had to be done. Feel the apocalyptic fury that is ethankaye.net!

Be sure to click the photo to see it bigger. I think this link might give you the biggest size.

PCQOTD : 3-13-06

Plebian:
"I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I’d see you again."

Erudite:
"When you find yourself in the thick of it, help yourself to a bit of what is all around you, silly girl."

Five Day Forecast

And on the fifth day, God said, "Fuck y'all, it's time for the Apocalypse."

PCQOTD : 3-10-06

Plebian:
"Let your fingers do the walking."

Erudite:
"All reactionaries are paper tigers."

PCQOTD : 3-9-06

Plebian:
"When I'm home, everything seems to be right. When I'm home, feeling you holding me tight."

Erudite:
"When the going gets rough, he's super tough!"

Don Is Coming

Don is coming. Prepare yourself for the greatness that is...Don.

The Four Meme

I have been "tagged" by Old Man FitzSimons in regards to the "Four Meme" that's floating about, and I am not one to shirk from a tag! Have at you!

Four Jobs I’ve Had
1. Pizzamaker, Domino's Pizza
2. Graphic Artist, City of Durham
3. Pro Wrestling Announcer/Commentator, OMEGA
4. Lowly Telephone Drone, Town of Chapel Hill

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over Again
1. Star Wars (the real one, not this recent crap)
2. Batman Begins
3. The Thin Man
4. 1001 Erotic Nights

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch
1. NewsRadio
2. Hogan's Heroes
3. Match Game
4. QI (the current favourite)

Four Places I've Been on Vacation
1. Winchester, England, England
2. Philadelphia
3. My bedroom
4. Easton, PA

Four Favorite Dishes
1. Kung Pao Chicken and Shrimp, Charlie's Chinese
2. Kung Po Chicken (no green peppers), China Wok
3. NC pork barbecue and brunswick stew
4. sushi

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. The Wrestling Observer
2. DSI Comedy Forums
3. BoingBoing
4. Scans Daily

Four Places I'd Rather Be
1. In the ring
2. In front of a copy of Flash, learning how to animate
3. Asleep
4. Laying next to Leesa (Oh, how I wish!)

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging
1. Manders
2. ethankaye.net
3. The Man of Renown, Corey Brown
4. PT Scarborough Is A Blogger

PCQOTD : 3-8-06

Plebian:
"You can't top the coppertop."

Erudite:
"Laughter, laughter, all I hear and see is laughter. Laughter, laughter, laughing at my cries."

The Historical Ethan Kaye, Part Deux

So apparently, the Historical Ethan Kaye was a big hit. The man himself tells me that loads of people on the Improve Resource Center are doing their own versions and posting them up there. Ethan has put a few up on his blog. (Check them out here, here, here,, here, here, and here.) Well, I rose to the challenge and did a second wave m'self. You can view 'em here.

Tossed Salad and Scrambled Genes

Okay, who is going to go watch this with me? Kit? Ethan? Anybody?

PCQOTD : 3-7-06

Plebian:
"Atomic batteries to power; turbines to speed."

Erudite:
"He doesn't know it's supposed to be a show! He thinks it's a damn fight!"

The Aristocrats!

It has been previously demonstrated that I likes me some magic. I particularly like card magic, especially if it involves dextrous manipulation and slight of hand. Now, in a different vein, I do not particularly like The Aristocrats, the "classic" off-colour joke told by comedians the world over and featured in a movie of the same name. That said, I offer you now a video that I found entertaining, namely a version of the Aristocrats told through card manipulation. Enjoy.

PCQOTD : 3-6-06

Plebian:
"Love is a burning thing."

Erudite:
"I turn the switch and check the number, I leave it on when in bed I slumber."

The Historical Ethan Kaye

So the other day I was checking out my friends' blogs, and came across this post on ethankaye.net. The post featured the picture of Ethan shown here, where the guitar master himself is rocking out during the DSI Festival 2006. I knew Ethan was pretty famous, so I checked Google Images for his name, and was amazed at just how famous he really was. It's astounding how many places Ethan Kaye has rocked out.

Check out what I discovered!

Brainie The Pooh

Here's a very amusing episode of "Pinky and the Brain" done in the style of "Winnie the Pooh", featuring Brainie and Pinklet. They plan to steal a motherlode of honey which is guarded by...

Brain: "...the scariest and most intimidating bee of all!"
Pinky: "Bee Arthur?"

Guest appearances include a very special jaguar in place of Tigger, and exactly who I hoped in place of Christopher Robin.

Geeky Music Video

Here's a club song that uses samples and video from Lord of the Rings.

I want to be creative like this.

No Prize Will Be Awarded

Just because I had fifteen minutes to waste before lunchtime, here's the tally for the PCQOTD for the month of February:

Mr. Birken: 2
Mr. FitzSimons: 3
Mr. Minter: 1
Mr. Moser: 4
Ms. Palmisano: 1
Mr. Scronce: 2

La Tecnico Sencacionalissimo!

I just came across this GREAT web page full of links to other sites about lucha libre. If you like Mexican masked wrestling, then this is definitely worth checking out. There's links to videos, biographies, comic books, and all sorts of lucha greatness.

I found this site through this site, which features a very interesting article entitled "Lucha Libre: The Global Adoption of a Mexican Symbol". A good read.

That site also led me to this site, which is about a wrestling mask exhibition at a museum in Arizona. Man, I wish I could go. (Did you know that several of *my* masks were featured in an art exhibition once? It's true!)

PCQOTD : 3-3-06

Plebian:
"Can you hear me now?"

Erudite:
"Come..."
"Stay..."
"Ouch..."
"Ouch..."

Sketch Hobgood

So recently, Johnny Fabulous asked me if I would perform one of the sketches he wrote for the class he just took. I said I'd be glad to; I like the idea of trying out sketch comedy, and Jon is a really nice guy--I was glad to help him out. So last night was the first rehearsal for the shindig, and it looks like it's going to be great fun. The bit I'm doing for Jon is a newsreader with joke headlines, in the tradition of SNL Weekend Update. It'll be yours truly alone on stage, sitting at a desk doing his fake news voice. Last night, Johnny Fabulous filmed me being spun 'round and 'round in a chair for the pretaped intro to the piece. I will say, Mr. Scott Jennings had the scariest gleeful look on his face when he volunteered to be the one to whip me around in circles on the chair. He enjoyed it far too much.

Then Bill (I'm a bad man and don't know Bill's last name. I'm ashamed.) Ferris asked me to sit in for a sketch he wrote, since The Man of Renown, Corey Brown couldn't make the practice. This one is a newspaper office sketch featuring Kif SitzTimons, who is hilarious in his delivery; great voice and physical bits. Well-written and funny sketch, too. Anyway, apparently they liked the reading I did, because Jennings suggested to Bill that he ask me to take the part. So boom, now I'm doing two sketches.

I'm really looking forward to this; I like the idea of doing sketches much more than doing straight improv. I feel much better when I have some vague grasp of what the material is about. I could do the improv necessary for my days in pro wrestling at the drop of a hat, because I know wrestling and am comfortable with it. I could do Match Game because I know Match Game and I know the Macho Man. But I think seat of the pants improv is too abstract for me, at least for the most part. If I'm in a comfortable situation with people I'm at ease with and am not intimidated by, I'm golden. In the situations I've come across where I don't know the people I'm playing with well, or feel that they're so far above me talent-wise, I just don't enjoy myself. I think this sketch experience is going to feel comfortable and creative and loads of fun.

In addition to being fun to play in, the sketch show will also going to be damn fun to watch. Here's one highlight: Johnny Fab also wrote a Charles Manson sketch that will be performed by ethankaye.net. This is damn funny. You must see this. Ethan made me laugh both uproariously and repeatedly. Kit and I had finished our rehearsal, and were going to leave and watch a movie, but we kept getting lured back into the theater to see Ethan do repeated takes. This will be a fun show, and I encourage you to come see it. It's Saturday, March 11, at 11:00, and is paired up with the show I'm always pushing people to come see, the ridiculously entertaining PT Scarborough Is A Movie. This is a double bill you will be glad you saw. Come and enjoy.

PCQOTD : 3-2-06

Plebian:
"All for one, and one for all!"

Erudite:
"I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad."

Tricky connection here.

You're The Star!

The fine folks at somethingawful.com always come up with some hilarious ideas for Photoshop contests. If you haven't seen these before, basically they come up with a theme, and invite people to Photoshop up pictures based on the theme. This week, the theme is those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books that were all the rage for a couple of years. I still have one that features a wrestling vampire; it's a jewel in my ridiculous collection of pro wrestling books. In this Photoshop contest, people have altered and remixed the covers of many different Choose Your Own Adventure titles, and the results are hilarious. Click and enjoy page after page of parody fun.

PCQOTD : 3-1-06

Plebian:
"Do you recall what was revealed the day the music died?"

Erudite:
"You may be a lover, but you ain't no dancer."

PCQOTD : 2-28-06

Plebian:
"Life was like a box of chocolates."

Erudite:
"Go ahead with your own life. Leave me alone."

Bonus Erudite (with Bonus Connection):
"Enter the Carousel. This is the time of renewal."

Mining For Mineral Resources

This is a fun little artsy photography site. They take picture of tiny plastic figures (probably from an N scale railroad set) and pose them with food to make a unique and surreal little world. The picture here shows workers mining the seeds out of a watermelon. Other pictures include football players on a carton of eggs, Nazis creeping through salad, and engineers studying a fissure in an eclair. The navigation interface is in Flash and is a little hard to get used to, but perseverence pays off--there's some cool stuff here.

PCQOTD : 2-23-06

Plebian:
"But you’re not fooling me, ‘cause I can see the way you shake and shiver."

Erudite:
"Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars."

PCQOTD : 2-22-06

Plebian:
"Take your stinking paws off of me, you damn dirty ape!"

Erudite:
"I didn't say he was dead; I said he was sleeping with the fishes."

Bonus Erudite (With Extra Added Bonus Connection):
"The Duke of New York, A-Number-1, the Big Man, that's who!"

WE'RE BACK!

ethankaye.net, Sizzle, and Sketch go to PA
Originally uploaded by TedHobgood.

So the Great Pennsylvania Road Trip has come to an end. After work on Thursday, Ethan Kaye, Jeff Scronce, and yours truly piled into Ethan's car and made ramming speed up to Easton, PA to stay with his parents. Ethan's parents rock, by the way. We talked at length of wrestling, the Marx Brothers, theater, Kenpo, Judaism, and why there are no pictures of Ethan in the house. His mom fixed us an incredible lasagna, and we had a Sabbath dinner on Friday, which was cool. I felt very at home and accepted.

We went to Roadside America, the "World's Greatest Miniature Village". Ethan kept raving about it, but to tell the truth, I wasn't really looking forward to it. Turns out, it was the high point of the trip. It was fascinating, fun, and hilarious. Other highlights were the $5.98 store that Ethan's father turned us on to (I got an amazing jacket), and Haag's Hotel, a family dining restaurant of all-you-can-eat Pennsylvania Dutch food. Incredible. We also went to a zoo in freezing weather, saw a crappy film at the Hershey factory, and made lots of amusing remarks about billboards, signs, and the rare Pennsylvania Angus Bee.

Ted gives this trip a big thumbs up, and thanks Ethan Kaye for putting it together. It was one fine vacation.

Click here for a Flickr photoset of selections from our journey. Go through the pictures one-by-one (as opposed to the slideshow) to read the comments.

PCQOTD : 2-21-06

Plebian:
"It’s the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."

Erudite:
"By Gad, sir, you are a character. There's never any telling what you'll say or do next, except that it's bound to be something astonishing."

PCQOTD : 2-16-06

Plebian:
"You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good."

Erudite:
"I got stripes, stripes around my shoulders. I got chains, chains around my feet."

Mmmmm...CHICKEN!

So this Thursday, the lovely ethankaye.net, the lovely Sizzle, and myself are heading up to Pennsylvania to spend the weekend at the kaye.net family farm in the heart of Amish country. We're going to eat good food, enjoy great hospitality, and see the Hershey factory, the Crystal Cave Park, and the world's largest miniature village. It's a kitschfest. I may be mistaken, but I think this is going to be the first time I've had a full weekend away from the theater since it opened last October. My god. I need to take a break.

Notes:
* The Kaye family may not reside on an actual farm, and it may not actually be in Amish country, although we are going to several nearby Amish-type places. Ones that have websites. Wrap your mind around that.
* The name of the guy in the picture is Amish Roadkill. No, really. He's a rassler.

WHAM!

My friend Brantley found this great little video clip on YourTube. Somebody put together a clipfest of the best finishing moves on the indy wrestling scene. Some of these are just poetic to watch, like the 720 DDT, the incredible Canadian Destroyer, the Falcon Arrow, and the Shooting Star Press (SSP). This is what exciting pro wrestling is all about, not the rewashed roidfests and boobjobs that the WWE puts on. Chekkit out.

PCQOTD : 2-15-06

Plebian:
"They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom!"

Erudite:
"Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?"

The Negative Map of Ted

Ah, when I put up The Map of Ted yesterday, I didn't notice there was also a corresponding page for the negative aspects of my personality. So here it is, go to it, jackals.

PCQOTD : 2-14-06

Plebian:
"Truth, Justice, and the American Way."

Erudite:
"To a gourmet, it's a special sauce; to a cowboy, it's his favourite 'hoss',; to a colonel, it's a regiment."

Starting tomorrow, I will put up the answers to the previous day's Popular Culture Quote of the Day in the comments section, along with the Connection. I've gone back and done so for all the previous days as well. Feel free to keep leaving your solutions in the comment section; that's fun for me. Check back the next day to see the answers if you didn't get them.

WTF?!?

What the fuck is this? I stumbled across this site while cruising around a combat sports website. Amazing what one can find by accident.
...
Ohhh...it's from Australia. That explains a lot.

The Map Of Ted

Amanda and Kit each had this interesting personality map on their blog, and I was intrigued, so I decided to put a copy here on mine and see what comes up. Basically, you pick various traits off of a grid, picking the best that suit me, in your opinion. The next page then compares your opinion with others, as well as my own.

Click here and give it a try. There's no registration or anything, so it's easy to participate without worrying about getting spammed. I'd be interested to see what you say.

PCQOTD : 2-13-06

Plebian:
"We’ll have some fun now with me and all the gang, learning from each other while we do our thing."

Erudite:
"Jammin' on the one."

Not At The State Fair...Yet.

So, while watching QI this weekend, I heard them mention something called a "Scotch Egg". Not knowing what a Scotch Egg is, I looked it up on Wikipedia. Apparently, a Scotch Egg is a cold hard-boiled egg, wrapped in ground sausage, coated with breadcrumbs, and deep fried. I wanted to see a picture of this odd little creation, so I looked it up on Google. Before I got to the images section though, I was presented with webpages that referenced the Scotch Egg, and the first entry brought me to this rather nasty-sounding creation. Enjoy.

I've Got A Bad, Er, Good Feeling About This

I like Lego, and I like Star Wars. When they announced they would make a Lego Star Wars video game in 2005, I was excited. The actual Lego Star Wars sets looked cool, and I could just imagine how much fun it would be to cruise around as Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, etc, in the Lego world. Alas, as it turned out, the game was based on the crap-crap-crappy recent Star Wars movies, therefore by definition, it sucked. Well now it's 2006, and they've wised up they're coming out with a second Lego Star Wars game, and this one is securely focussed on the first three movies, aka "The Good Star Wars".

Here's two quotes from the preview that sound particularly cool:

"Any non-droid character will be able to ride any creature and pilot any vehicle, so the player will have the chance to, say, have Lando Calrissian ride a tauntaun or Leia pilot an AT-ST."

"Examples of the melee attacks include Leia's face slap and Chewbacca pulling LEGO arms off of an opposing character, just like Han Solo implies in Episode IV when he tells C-3PO, "Droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that."

Sweet.

I've Learned Something

Words are interesting, and I just stumbled upon a new one. Do you know what a vexillologist is?

PCQOTD : 2-11-06

Plebian:
"If I ever have a son, I’m gonna name him...Bill! or George!"

Erudite:
"Yup. The end of a way of life. Too bad. It's a good way. Wagons forward! Yo!"

Bukkake Costume?

"Mayo" from the new Burger King "Whopperettes" commercial. Click the picture to enlarge.

You Like Tinygame, Yes?

Behold the world's smallest website, full of your favourite games like Breakout, Pacman, and Space Invaders, all crammed into an 18x18 pixel square. You've got to check it out to believe it.

PCQOTD : 2-9-06

Plebian:
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got."

Erudite:
"It's German for 'the'...'the Bart, the'!"

Ursine Hijinks

So I was wandering around the site of Kevin Cornell, a very talented artist, looking for some monkey cartoons I heard he did. Before I found those cartoons though, I came across a fun little game/doodad/timewaster he made called, simply enough, "The Bear". This is the type of thing I would like to do on my website; fun little tiny things that people can fiddle with, that brings a smile to their face.

(Oh, and the monkey cartoons are mixed throughout this section of his site. The Mojo the Monkey stuff is hilarious, as are many more of his cartoons.)

PCQOTD : 2-8-06

Plebian:
"I’ve paid my dues time after time, I’ve done my sentence, but committed no crime."

Erudite:
"Hawkmen? DIIIIVE!"

Blading The Paper

So I had someone I didn't know post a comment to my blog recently-- what?!? Other people actually read this thing other than my immediate (and small) circle of friends?!? I'm stunned. He commented on my Hanna-Barbera/McFarlane figures entry, and mentioned that he does Hanna-Barbera collage, listing his web address for more information. Since I've never had someone I didn't know post to this blog, I was wary at first that this might be some sort of trick to get publicity, but my fears were unfounded. John Rozum is (among other things) a prolific comic book writer, with such titles as Xombi, The X-Files, What If?, and Dexter's Laboratory. He's also an incredible collagist. Check out the "News" section on his site to see some of his Hanna-Barbera collages. I love his Creeper and his Dr. Quest, and am dying to see an Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan as interpreted by his hands.

Violent Dairy Products

Evan "Dork" Dorkin is a genius. His "Milk and Cheese" strips ("Dairy products gone bad...a carton of hate, a wedge of spite" are just about the funniest comics I've ever read. They never fail to make me guffaw at every panel. I first discovered him when I started collecting the old Fisher-Price Little People figures in 1988, and found his version of "Catcher In The Rye" as performed by Little People. I say to you once again, genius.

Check out samples here. Check out dorkin's website here. And just for shits and giggles, as an extra added bonus, dorkin's take on the comic strip "Cathy" is here.

PCQOTD : 2-7-06

Plebian:
"Steve Austin...a man barely alive..."

Erudite:
"I’ve gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Raquel Welch.
But when I end up in the hay it’s only hay, Hey Hey."

To The Moon, Alice

I was talking to some friend of mine the other day, and we were discussing odd tv shows, amazed at what sort of things made it to the air. My friend gawked at me in disbelief when I tried to explain the plotline for "Salvage 1", a short-lived series from 1979. Basically, a junkyard owner reads about the vehicles and equipment that were left on the moon after the Apollo expeditions, and he sees dollar signs. He figures he's a smart fellow, so he builds a rocket out of the junk laying around his yard, and states that he's going to "go to the moon, salvage all the junk that's up there, bring it back, and sell it." Sounds like a great show, right? It gets better...the junkman is played by Andy Griffith.

I can't make stuff like this up, folks. No, I wouldn't believe me either. Click here to see the whole nutty story of Salvage 1. There's even links to the theme and classic dialogue from the show. Enjoy.

PCQOTD : 2-6-06

Plebian:
"Nothing up my sleeve...PRESTO!
...
No doubt about it; I gotta get a new hat."

Erudite:
"To all my love slaves out there: Thunderlips is here. In the flesh, baby. The ultimate male versus... the ultimate meatball. Ha-ha-ha!!!"

Bonus Erudite:
"The year is 1987, and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes."

(Each Erudite has a different conenction to the Plebian today.)

The Ride On The Self-Esteem Train Keeps On Chuggin'

So I'm on one o' them there personal ad sites, and there was this girl I had bookmarked because she had such an interesting profile, with lots of mutual hobbies and intriguing things to talk about. I finally sat down and decided to write her an email to say hi and see if she'd like to chat. Within a few hours, I got this lovely reply:

We have a high match percentage, and I bet I'd like you a lot, except for the fact that I will never meet you because
a) You're too old for me :(
b) You look eerily like this guy who raped me, and if I met you I would probably freak out and have a panic attack and cry. Just looking at your pictures made me uncomfortable.

Well, that was out of the blue. I can sure pick 'em.

PCQOTD : 2-3-06

Plebian:
"Red rum."

Erudite:
"Number one superguy."

There Goes My Money

I like action figures. I'm really picky about what I buy, though--it has to be something unique and clever. F'r'instance, yesterday I bought the new "Secret Files" Batman figure, because it shows Bruce Wayne in the Batman costume, but with his cowl removed. What got me to actually buy it, though, is that the removed cowl is made of soft rubber, and hangs behind his head along the cape. This is the little touch that sets this figure apart from the average dreck that is churned out in the action figure world.

One action figure company I've always liked is McFarlane. They consistently produce some of the cleverest, best sculpted, most detailed, most unusual figures ever. They're just heads and shoulders above 97% of the figure companies out there. Problem is, I don't own any McFarlane figures; they just haven't ever produced any characters I've been wildly interested in. Their Janis Joplin is cool, but I don't really need a Joplin figure. I love Kiss, but can't really see myself dedicating a huge amount of real estate in my living room to a recreation of the "Alive" set. Their Monsters and Movie Maniacs series are great looking, but again, I'm not that big of a fan of the characters to actually have them around.

Well, recently McFarlane announced they had secured the Hanna-Barbera license. Now I might be in trouble. I love Hanna-Barbera. I grew up on it. They revolutionized the animation process, and produced some great series in both the comic and scfi/adventure realms. The press release says that McFarlane will be starting out with Fred Flintstone, Tom and Jerry and Quickdraw McGraw figures. That's fine; I won't buy any of those, so my wallet will be safe. I'm hoping he'll soon do his take on great popular characters like Scooby Doo, Josie & The Pussycats, and the fabulous Scatman Crothers-voiced Hong Kong Phooey. McFarlane is actually known for doing figures of characters that might not necessarily be the most popular in a particular genre, so there might be hope for seeing such interesting choices as The Impossibles, Speed Buggy, Grape Ape, or Jabberjaw. A more distant possibility would be Ted favourites such as The Hillbilly Bears or The Hair Bear Bunch. (Hippie bears rule.)

I would like to go on record as saying, if McFarlane makes sets of Clue Club or my favourite, The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan, I'll freak out. Please Todd, bring me The Chan Clan!!!

Amazon Can Be Amusing

Amazing, the things one can find whilst wandering around on Amazon. This page made me smile in a bemused fashion.

PCQOTD : 2-2-06

Plebian:
"And she’s not only merely dead, she’s really most sincerely dead."

Erudite:
"You're all invited back next week to this locality to have a heapin' helpin' of their hospitality."

A Bloody Good Yarn

This page amuses me. A thousand happinesses will descend up the person who crochets for me a tiger and stack of bones. I'll take the alligator with the baby as well. Far, far too funny.

PCQOTD : 2-1-06

Plebian:
"Did somebody sit on a duck?!?"

Erudite:
"He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank, he ain't no chicken no more."