Monday, November 14, 2005

Confucious Say...

So I got some Chinese food for lunch today; some really bad Chinese food, but that's beside the point. The point is, I got two fortune cookies. Woohoo! The first fortune was nice and inspiring: "Aim for the sky, because even if you miss, you'll still be among the stars." I think I'll keep that one. The other one simply read: "A well-aimed spear is worth three." Three what? Three cents? Three brand new Chryslers? Three really crappy overbreaded fantail shrimp? I am troubled by the abrupt end of my fortune.

4 comments:

Lisa P said...

I learned this from Zach Ward: You can get added meaning from any cookie fortune by adding the words "in bed" to the end. I think that applies here.

Jason Quinn said...

I once got a fortune cookie that said, "You will be hungry later. But take out now."

No joke.

Kit said...

I think that second fortune would fit aptly in a Chinese Game Night:

Confucius Say: "Ah, Lu-Tze, I have used all seven of my tiles to build off of your previous words 'EN', the 'O' in 'ON 'AMP' and 'OR' to spell 'BENZOXYCAMPHORS' across the top row, my 'B' (on the triple-word score) also spelling 'BRACKETED' down, my 'Z' (on the double-letter score) also spelling 'ZOOLOGIST', my 'X' also used for 'XEROTIC', my 'C' (also triple-wording) starting off 'CHAT', my 'H' (on another double-letter) used for 'HOVERS', and my 'S' (on a third triple-word score) brilliantly also heading up 'SQUIRES'...plus the Bingo, which gives me a premium of 50 points, giving me a round total of 1830 and thus --I assume as you have but one turn remaining-- ensuring my victory."

Lu-Tze Says: "Quite a nice move, Confucius. I admit, I have to swap out my tiles, for I have no words that will suffice. And all I have to trade for these tiles is my ancestral weapon, Fao-Kiu the Comet-Ridden Javelin, used in a rare but deadly fighting style which I have trained for 40 years to master. And I am saddened to admit my obvious loss, honorable Confucius, for, even were I to use said weapon now...A well-aimed spear is worth three."

Lisa P said...

Kit, you make my head explode on a regular basis.