TrollQuotes meme

So my good buddy Kit sent me a link to a page talking about a new meme thing going around called TrollQuotes. The basic premise is to mismatch a quote and a picture, in an attempt to make fanboys explode with anger. Click this link to see a bunch of samples.

I thought it would be fun to participate and do some of my own (and hopefully Kit and others of our clan will too.) One caveat: I read the thing Kit sent *last night* and then made my pictures today, based on my memory of what the meme requirements were. My memory ain't worth doody though, and I left out one of the stipulated requirements. You're supposed to pair a quote and an antithetical image, AND attribute the quote to a third person. I forgot that last bit, and just attributed the quote to the person in the image I chose. I started to fix my pics, but then decided I liked it better the way I did it. I think the third factor makes it a bit too complicated; the joke is easier to assimilate with just the quote and inappropriate image.

So here we go!

One
Two
Three
Four

Now go make your own, and include a link to your work in the comments of this post!

-Ted

I'm In The Mood To Meme

 (via onlymetahuman)

   Instructions:
   1. Open your library (iTunes, Media Player, iPod, etc)
   2. Put it on shuffle
   3. Press play
   4. For every item, type the song that’s playing
   5. When you go to a new item, press the next button
   6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

   …

THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE

Opening Credits: "Funny Farm" by Motorhead (a song about being hauled off to an insane asylum; good start!)

Waking Up:  "Breaking The Law" by Hellsongs (a mellow cover of the Judas Priest classic...wow, my life isn't this exciting!)

First Day of School:  Greedo saying "Going somewhere, Solo?" from Star Wars (Meeting other kids did feel like an assassination attempt.)

Falling in Love: "Moon Glow" by Cab Calloway (it is a good feeling)

Fight Song:  "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police (Personal space violation leads to violence.)

Prom:  "I'm Going Home" by Ten Years After (Yes indeed, that is where I spent prom.)

Life: "Cheek To Cheek" by Fred Astaire (The lyric starts off "Heaven...I'm in Heaven." I wish!)

Mental Breakdown: "Strange Report" off of Cult Fiction Royale (a tv theme, I think? I am pretty strange...)

Driving:  "The Trooper Believer" by DJ Schmolli (A mashup between Iron Maiden and The Monkees. I could drive to that.)

Flashback:  "California Girls" by the Beach Boys. (Actually, she was from Korea; she may have landed in California before making her way east.)

Getting Back Together:  "A New World" by MF Doom (It always was; and a beautiful world at that.)

Losing Your Virginity: the entrance theme for New Japan Wrestling's Masahiro Chono. (Does this mean losing my virginity was like a Yakuza Kick or the ornate entanglement of the STF?)

Wedding:  "This is Sexy Knickers 'ere", a quote from Miss Brahms on "Are You Being Served?" (I should hope so!)

Birth of Child:  "Raiders of the Lost Ark Theme" by Toy Dolls (Yeah. 'Cause it would take an act of freakin' God.)

Final Battle:  "Bad Rockit" mashup of Michael Jackson's "Bad" and Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" (Your butt is mine. I will fuck you up with a chain.)

Death Scene:  "Enter The Young" by The Association (Well, I always did think I'd die young...)

Funeral Song:  "The Boogie Woogie" by Cab Calloway (Dance the night away...)

End Credits: "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N'Roses (Well there ya go.)



* * *

Now you do it.

TV Land Haiku Meme

Ok, so I'm reading "TV Land To Go: The Big Book of TV Lists, TV Lore, and TV Bests" by Tom Hill. Good book, lots of tv nostalgia and odd facts. There's also a bunch of original material created for the book. Some of their ideas for tv shows are pretty brilliant, like a detective show called "That's The Man!", where Tony Randall plays "a classically trained artist who has fallen on hard times and taken up work as a police sketch artist.[His] refined sensibility and distaste for mingling with riffraff can't overcome his burning desire to see justice done". Brilliant.

But what I post about today is another one of their genius ideas: the TV Land Haiku. Their theory is that the brief-but-rigid artistic structure of the haiku is the perfect method "for expressing the essential truth in some of our favorite TV shows and characters."

Check out the following examples:

"Dragnet"
Stern morality
Blue squares bust far-out hippies.
The names have been changed.

"Family Affair"
Mom and Dad are gone,
But Uncle Bill is rich, yay!
Who wants pony rides?

"Hogan's Heroes"
Underground allies
What tunnels? I know nothing.
Silly old Germans!

So, inspired by that, I decided to create some of my own:

"Match Game"
In the Land of Blanks
Brett Somers is Match Game king
And Charles is her queen.

"The Love Boat"
Where else could Zsa Zsa
Make sweet love with Van Patten
Exciting and new

"Venture Brothers"
The Monarch will rant,
Hank and Dean will fail again,
And Brock will whoop ass.

"Wrestling Announcers"
Jim Ross reigns today
Lance was a stalwart hand, but
Solie was the Dean.

"Bill McNeill"
The man loved his cane,
And loved women even more.
But Rocket Fuel, DAMN!

"QI"
The Earth has two moons?!?
"Cruithne?" Are you mad, sir?
That's rubbish; prove it.

So that's my contributions. I now ask you to create your own and pass it around the interweb, on blogs and Facebook and Twitter and all those doohickeys. I particularly challenge the pop culture haiku masters: Kit FitzSimons and Jeff Scronce! Go to it, lads! (And link back here.)

Oh, and maybe use the #tvhaiku hashtag, if you feel like it. Now go get famous.

Ted Needs 2

Okay, I did this once before, but saw Jennifer had done it recently, and as an experiment, typed "ted needs" into Google once again, and was amused enough to make this post. I should be editing video right this minute, but I'm giving myself five minutes to write this up.

Type in your name and "needs" into Google and then write down the first 10 coherent things that come up.

1. "Ted needs someone to be there 100% of the time." So true.

2. "Ted needs a 24 hour staffed program which can assist him with taking his medications." Well damn, that might help, actually.

3. "Ted needs a shower." Really? How did I get so filthy in two hours? (Wait, don't answer that.)

4. "Handsome Ted needs a home." I actually have one, but thanks for the complimentary adjective.

5. "Ted needs to step down. And he needs to step down immediately." A compliment followed by an insult. Thanks a lot, internet.

6. "Uncle Ted needs you." Heh. I like pervy roleplaying.

7. "Theodore needs a date!" How did that come up when I searched for "Ted needs"? Google must be psychic about my real needs.

8. "Ted needs a home." I guess I'm no longer handsome.

9. "Ted needs to sleep." Occasionally, yes.

10. "Ted needs some nads." Aww...that's not nice.

Well, that's not a good note to end on. Let's do a bonus one.

11. "Ted needs to be appreciated a little more." Aww, that's sweet. Thanks, Google!

(BTW, the image in this post was on the first page I got on Google Images when searching for "Ted Needs". Back to video editing!)

The Batslap Meme

Corey Brown challenged me ("New Mimi for you," was all he said, actually,) and I accepted.

It's a lot like the Angry J. Jonah Jameson meme we did a while back. Corey sent me this panel of Batman slapping Robin and invited me to go wild. Here's what I came up with: one, two, three, four, cinco, six.

Here's a blank version if any of you folks want to participate. Don't forget to link to your work in the comments of this entry!

Angry J. Jonah Jameson Meme

Okay, so I saw this meme and guffawed like a fool. Basically, it's sorta similar to Ethan Kaye's SuperMeme that we did a while ago. You take a comic panel of Daily Bugle editor J. Jonah Jameson that has the word balloons and tv screen blanked out, and you add your own substitutions for memetastic fun.

I had to join in. You can check out my contributions in this Flickr set.

You can join in too! The original memer was kind enough to provide a blank. Now, if you have Photoshop, you can also try using my blank, where I've layered the images and masked out the word balloons and tv screen to make it easier and quicker to churn these out. In either case, it might help to know that the tv screen is rotated 4.2 degrees.

(Oh, and Kit, I know I don't have to challenge you on this one, but just in case: I challenge you!)

Visiting The Record Shop

So my buddy Jackson sends me an email today labelled "A Challenge". Well, I always likes me a challenge, especially a graphic challenge, as this turned out to be.

He sent me to a blog called The Yellow Stereo, in which this guy PJ came up with a very cool idea: basically, you take a randomly generated band name, a randomly generated album title, and a randomly generated picture, and then use your graphic editor of choice (and your fine artistic skills!) to mock up an album cover! What fun!

PJ suggests you get your band name by taking the title of whatever comes up when you visit the Wikipedia random article page. Now I'll tell ya right now, I cheated a little bit on this first step, as I would generate a new page if I got the name of a famous person or of an actual band (I was really pissed when I got "The Great Kat" and then found out she was an actual musician. Is that a cool name or what?) For your album title, go to the random quotes page and scroll down to the last quote; the last four words of the last quote are your album title. (I soon discovered that I needed to refresh the page each time to get new quotes as I made multiple albums.) Then go to Flickr's Interesting Photos page and grab the third photo; that'll be the image of your album cover. (I'll go ahead and admit now that I actually was grabbing the fourth photo, as when I went to Flickr, the third photo had a watermark that was pretty sucky.)

Now make your album covers! Here's what I came up with...it seems to want to produce industrial minimalist bands or German techno-type stuff, but I did end up with a good metal band as well. First off, we have Overconvergent Modular Form, and their hit album "Like It Better Dead"

(click to see bigger)

Gotta love the OMF and their sweet trance beats. Next we have Segmental Blood Pressure with "As Simple As That"

They look like maybe they're one of those electronic cello bands that play modern interpretations of hard pop songs. Or maybe just Christmas tunes. On to Diasello and the haunting "Sweet Serenity of Books"

I like the name Diasello. I was quite fortunate to end up with a nice simple picture for that one, and had fun making the creepy, ethereal logo for the group in the sky. I'm thinking these folks are like latter day Clannad. Quite a polar opposite to our last group, the note-shredding guitar-wailing explosions of CYCLOTYPHLOPS and "My War On Terror!"

Rock on! And yes, "My War On Terror!" WAS the last four words on that quote, and yes, the exclamation point was part of the original text. Sweet.

In real life, overconvergent modular form refers to some type of mathematical space, segmental blood pressure is the bp of individual limbs, Diasello is a village in Greece, and cyclowhatever is some sort of blind snake.

So anyway, I challenge all my graphically-inclined friends to try this out on your own blogs and comment here with a link to your offerings. It is a CHALLENGE, I'm telling you!

SuperMeme

Ethan Kaye came up with this funny idea: taking a particular amusing series of classic Superman panels and replacing the text. Go check out his versions first.

Then Jeff Scronce (nee Skronch) made his own, converting Ethan's hilarious idea into a meme. Go check out his stuff now.

Now that you've seen the innovators, you can go see mine:
Adam West
Motorhead
Star Trek
007
Superfriends

And finally, a blank version in case anybody else wants to give it a go.

EDIT:
God, this is far too addictive. Here's another one.

EDIT 2:
And yet another one.