Ted Needs

So my very first post will be what inspired me to get off my duff and finally do a blog, namely the meme I first read on Kitters' blog, the "____ Needs" thing. It tickled me more than the usual "post this on your blog" thingies.

Here's how it rolls: You Google "-your name- needs" in quotation marks and then find the top 25 things you need. So....

* * *

1. Ted needs someone to be there 100% of the time.
2. Ted needs You!
3. Ted needs to learn to let go.
---(damn. truer words were never spoken.)
4. Ted needs some Governator lessons.
5. Ted needs your help!
6. Ted needs to buy long-term health care insurance.
7. Ted needs more style to go with his substantial success.
8. Ted needs Ducky to say what he needs to work out about copyright assignments.
9. Ted needs $50,000 a year.
---(Yes.)
10. Ted needs more!
---(Gimme another $50,000)
11. Ted needs for the usa and russia to SCRAMBLE ENORMOUSLY!
12. Dear old Ted needs TLC.
---(and I ain't talkin' 'bout the signing group.)
13. Ted needs to be successful and bring home the bacon.
14. Ted needs assistance with toileting for which he also takes medication.
---(so embarrassing...)
15. Ted needs to be honest and open about his feelings toward the relationship.
---(If I had only learned that a year ago...)
16. Ted needs to come back to school with your child.
---(Heh-heh...)
17. Ted needs to be checked into someplace that can help him with his sex addiction.
---(This is uncanny!)
18. Ted needs large meteors that arrive once every 120 years or so.
19. Ted needs to help finish what he helped start.
20. Ted needs a licking from me.
---(So perverted...)
21. Ted needs some digital enchancing.
22. Ted needs to hear Lynne say that the company values his work.
---(Well, he needs to hear it from somebody!)
23. Ted needs a 24 hour staffed program which can assist him with taking his medications,and provide rehabilitative training, so that he can learn cooking.
24. Ted needs something bigger.
25. Ted needs to grow some balls.
26. Ted needs a second opinion.

* * *

Okay, so I did 26 instead of 25...I had to; the punchline was too perfect.