PCQOTD : 1-31-06

Plebian:
"Set the Wayback Machine for 1492, Sherman."

Erudite:
"When he gets in a scrape, he makes his escape, with the help of his friend, an ape named Ape!"

Turn Animal Inside Out

Turn Animal Inside Out
Originally uploaded by TedHobgood.

Is there anything more entertaining than turning an animal inside out? Who knew that sharks were really footballs in disguise?

Spam Of The Day

So I get some great spam mail. Here's the best one that was waiting for me when I got back to work this morning:

Subject: When she swallows your sperm with Spermamax it’s like she’s having a dinner.

With Spermamax you w1ll h@ve more sperm than there is water in the ocean.
Make the bed soaking wet.
With Spermamax your sperm will be the 8th wonder of the world.

Ah, that's entertainment.

PCQOTD : 1-30-06

Plebian:
"They have everything you need to enjoy; you can hang out with all the boys."

Erudite:
"I'd like to thank my brother George."

PCQOTD : 1-27-06

Plebian:
"Anything dirty or dingy or dusty, anything ragged or rotten or rusty."

Erudite:
"We'll hitchhike, bus, or yellow cab it."

The Challenge Has Been Met!

Kit FitzSimons has more than successfully risen to yesterday's smack of the velvet glove. His re-texting of the chibi Marvel superheroes cartoons are hilarious. Chekkem out here. I knew Kit would do a great job at making these already funny cartoons even funnier, but he did an even more amusing job than I had thought he would. He even took the time to go in the background and re-edit the sound effects. Good colour choices, good graphic design, good humour. Too cool.

PCQOTD : 1-26-06

Plebian:
"Sombody oughta hit ya. But I'm not gonna hit ya. I'm not gonna hit ya. The hell I'm not!"

Erudite:
"Sock it to me?"

BTW, I've started attempting to make the Plebian and Erudite quotes related in some way. Now it's a triple game: identify the source of each quote, and explain how the two are related! F'r'instance, yesterday the Plebian was Elton John's "Candle In The Wind", which was a tribute to Marilyn Monroe. The Erudite was an exchange between Jack Benny and Monroe on Benny's tv show.

Today's relationship is actually sort of a double relationship, one obvious and one a slight bit more misty.

Chibi Supahiro Desu

So here's a couple of comics from Japan, featuring non-licensed "kid" versions of some random Marvel superheroes. The situations are rather odd, and all of the dialogue is in Japanese, so god knows what's actually going on in these comics. I would like to challenge MSPaint Sensei Kitto FitzSimons to erase the Japanese dialogue and replace it with appropriately amusing English. Go to it, True Believer!

PCQOTD : 1-25-06

Plebian:
"I would have liked to know you, but I was just a kid."

Erudite:
JB: "Perhaps we could go out to dinner sometime."
MM: "I don't see anything wrong in that."
JB: "Oh, I wish you *could*."

Zzzzzzz...

So a friend of mine who works in a hospital just sent me the following news in an email:

I just read a note from a man who had a highliter in a condom stuck up his butt. His explanation? "I have no idea how it got there. I am a heavy sleeper."

PCQOTD : 1-24-06

Plebian:
"You've got spunk...I hate spunk!"

Erudite:
"Ladies and gentlemen, and take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice."

Scorning the Pervert

So this weekend, I was talking to this attractive girl, and she told me I was so old, I should be dating her mother. I laughed it off, but it did sort of hit me hard. Yeah, she was much younger than me, but I thought she might be fun to hang out with; the age difference between us was about the same as between me and Leesa, and we dated for three wonderful years. Being told flat out that I was old and disgusting really weighed heavy on me. Soon after that, I was with some folks that were bantering about in a friendly manner, and this guy I barely know said (to me) something along the lines of "bald guys are losers who never get laid." Well, I laughed that one off too, but it really hurt to have something I *am* self-conscious about pointed out loudly in a group of people. You might as well have a retarded person in the same bantering situation and rag on them for being retarded. Why not just go whole hog and crack on how old I am and what a pitiful pervert I am?

Anyway, I wasn't having a particularly energizing weekend up to that point, and after those two bombshells dropped, the weekend took a decidedly downward turn. I took a long look in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. I ended up not leaving the confines of my four walls all Sunday, and pretty much severed contact with the outside world. Not a productive day. Monday was remarkably similar, but I did manage to go to work. I'll try to be perkier for Tuesday, but I'm not making any promises; I know myself too well.

PCQOTD : 1-23-06

Plebian:
"Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall."

Erudite:
"My whole life is a darkroom. One... big... dark... room."

I Can't Believe He Said That

Most people have probably already seen this, but I don't have cable or decent reception, so this is the first time I've come across it. It's a segment from the Jimmy Kimmel show called "Unnecessary Censorhip", where he takes perfectly acceptable video from tv shows and press conferences and whatnot, and selectively bleeps and/or blurs selected bits to make it sound as if it were obscene. I laughed several times.

Enjoy it here.

PCQOTD : 1-20-06

Plebian:
"People try to put us down, just because we get around."

Here's an amusing story about today's quote. I put the Plebian quote up on my desk at work every day, and people come by to guess the origin of each quote. This morning, somebody came by, looked at the above quote, and said, "I know it's 't-t-talkin bout my generation,' but who is it?"
I smiled and responded, "Yes it is."
"Is it the Rolling Stones?"
"No, who is it."
"Who?"
"Yes."

Golly, I love it when people step right into the trap of a classic vaudeville routine.

Erudite:
"Never let go the coat."

An SNL fake commercial for a phone sex chat line that specializes in service for the only customers that are up at 3 AM: geeks. Ah, this hits so very close to home.

Click here.

(Oh, and Paris Hilton is a dolt.)

Fortunes

So I had a piece of Dove dark chocolate today, and on the inside of the wrapper, there was a little fortune of sorts that read "Naughty can be nice."

I fully agree. Now where's my naughty little partner in crime? I'm so in the mood.

PCQOTD : 1-19-06

Plebian:
"Lovely bird, the Norwegian Blue; beautiful plumage."

Erudite:
"But they hope to the Pope and pray it ain't dope."

Who Will Give Me Ten And A Half?

These mp3s rule. There must be something I can do with these.
link

When Animals Attack

So I just discovered this webcomic today, The Pet Professional. The story revolves around a pet hitman, an assassin who doesn't kill people, but rather animals. The sensitive pet owner or PETA member may not exactly enjoy this, but it's humour, folks. Actually, what draws me to the comic is the art style, especially as evidenced here, here, and here. I think the colour schemes are fabulous, and love the blend of thick and thin outlines. And the Jell-O thing in the last example cracks me up. So if you'd like to see The Punisher with a furry twist, done in retro-style angular art, tune in to The Pet Professional.

Addendum:
Be sure to check out this one. I love penguins, but this cracks me up, especially the last panel. The expression on the penguin's face is priceless.