TrollQuotes meme

So my good buddy Kit sent me a link to a page talking about a new meme thing going around called TrollQuotes. The basic premise is to mismatch a quote and a picture, in an attempt to make fanboys explode with anger. Click this link to see a bunch of samples.

I thought it would be fun to participate and do some of my own (and hopefully Kit and others of our clan will too.) One caveat: I read the thing Kit sent *last night* and then made my pictures today, based on my memory of what the meme requirements were. My memory ain't worth doody though, and I left out one of the stipulated requirements. You're supposed to pair a quote and an antithetical image, AND attribute the quote to a third person. I forgot that last bit, and just attributed the quote to the person in the image I chose. I started to fix my pics, but then decided I liked it better the way I did it. I think the third factor makes it a bit too complicated; the joke is easier to assimilate with just the quote and inappropriate image.

So here we go!

One
Two
Three
Four

Now go make your own, and include a link to your work in the comments of this post!

-Ted

Seuss Wars

Ok, so my sister is brilliant. At many things, really, but in this case, writing. I knew she could write amazing Stephen King-esque horror stories, but had no idea she could write clever nostalgic comedy stuff. (I thought *I* was the comedian in the family--she's stealin' my act! If she starts doing wrestling announcing, she'll get no combined Birthday/Christmas presents this year!)

S'anyway, I saw a blog post somewheres about a guy who was doing Star Wars illustrations in the style of Dr. Seuss. They were pretty excellent, and I thought my sister might dig 'em, so I sent her the link. She guffawed and promptly sent back a couplet of how she thought a Dr. Seuss Star Wars book would start off. It was PERFECT! Funny, clever, and dead-on Geiselesque. I told her as much, and basically begged her to write more. And she did. Here is what she has so far:

Our story begins on an ordinary day,
With a boy in a galaxy far, far away.

The boy's name was Luke - no more than a teen,
He lived on a planet they called Tattooine.
His parents - so tragic! - they both were long dead,
Young Luke was an orphan (at least that's what they said).

He lived on a farm with his uncle and aunt,
Luke wanted to leave but they both said, "You can't!
"We need you for this and we need you for that!
To bring in the crops and to hunt the womp rat!"

So Luke waited and stayed and he stayed and he waited,
And helped with the work on the farm (which he hated).

At night he would stand and gaze over the dunes
At the one setting sun and the two rising moons.
He would sigh as he'd think to himself, "It's not fair,
That I'm stuck on this rock while my friends are out there!"

But destiny had a few tricks up her sleeve,
Luke stood, gazed, and waited… but soon he would leave.

Not so far away from where the boy stood,
Was raging a battle of evil and good!
Imperial forces with their mighty hand,
Were crushing the Rebel Alliance's band.

The rebels had stolen the plans - newly minted -
To the worst weapon mankind had ever invented.
The Empire wanted to get their plans back,
So they gathered their troops and went on the attack.

The Stormtroopers, gleaming insidious white,
Swarmed through the whole ship, just to fight, fight, fight, fight.
The rebels, outnumbered, outgunned and outlasted,
Had only two choices: give up or get blasted.

But one of them wouldn't let herself concede
Without first performing one most crucial deed.
This rebel - a princess! - before they could shoot her,
Hid the plans deep inside one small android's computer!
And with it, a message, of limited scope:
"Help me, Obi-wan, you are my only hope!"

With the droid and his counterpart now on the run,
The princess was hit with a blaster (on stun).
And though she resisted, the stormtroopers made her
Confront their feared leader, the evil DARTH VADER!!!!!!

And the two little droids? Where are they next seen?
You guessed it! They both wind up on Tattooine.
The droids - R2-D2 and C-3PO,
Cannot both agree on which way they should go.

The two turn their backs and go opposite ways,
Though they meet up again in a matter of days.
They're captured by "jawas" (they're like roving peddlers,
Who travel around selling scrap to the settlers).

And who do the jawas encounter? No fluke!
None other than our Uncle Owen and Luke.
(When shopping from jawas one thing to avoid,
Is the "big bargain" or "fixer-upper" android.
C-3PO was a steal for a translator,
But they got an R2 with a bad motivator!)
In the end it worked out, R2-D2 was sold,
And Luke spent the evening polishing gold.

She admits she was getting a little off track towards the end, but overall, this is BRILLIANT!!! She gave me permission to post this, and said she'd write more if she got positive feedback, so PLEASE comment on this post or email me or something. I want her to write the whole episode!!!!!

"We need you for this and we need you for that!/To bring in the crops and to hunt the womp rat!" HA!!!!

I'm In The Mood To Meme

 (via onlymetahuman)

   Instructions:
   1. Open your library (iTunes, Media Player, iPod, etc)
   2. Put it on shuffle
   3. Press play
   4. For every item, type the song that’s playing
   5. When you go to a new item, press the next button
   6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

   …

THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE

Opening Credits: "Funny Farm" by Motorhead (a song about being hauled off to an insane asylum; good start!)

Waking Up:  "Breaking The Law" by Hellsongs (a mellow cover of the Judas Priest classic...wow, my life isn't this exciting!)

First Day of School:  Greedo saying "Going somewhere, Solo?" from Star Wars (Meeting other kids did feel like an assassination attempt.)

Falling in Love: "Moon Glow" by Cab Calloway (it is a good feeling)

Fight Song:  "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police (Personal space violation leads to violence.)

Prom:  "I'm Going Home" by Ten Years After (Yes indeed, that is where I spent prom.)

Life: "Cheek To Cheek" by Fred Astaire (The lyric starts off "Heaven...I'm in Heaven." I wish!)

Mental Breakdown: "Strange Report" off of Cult Fiction Royale (a tv theme, I think? I am pretty strange...)

Driving:  "The Trooper Believer" by DJ Schmolli (A mashup between Iron Maiden and The Monkees. I could drive to that.)

Flashback:  "California Girls" by the Beach Boys. (Actually, she was from Korea; she may have landed in California before making her way east.)

Getting Back Together:  "A New World" by MF Doom (It always was; and a beautiful world at that.)

Losing Your Virginity: the entrance theme for New Japan Wrestling's Masahiro Chono. (Does this mean losing my virginity was like a Yakuza Kick or the ornate entanglement of the STF?)

Wedding:  "This is Sexy Knickers 'ere", a quote from Miss Brahms on "Are You Being Served?" (I should hope so!)

Birth of Child:  "Raiders of the Lost Ark Theme" by Toy Dolls (Yeah. 'Cause it would take an act of freakin' God.)

Final Battle:  "Bad Rockit" mashup of Michael Jackson's "Bad" and Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" (Your butt is mine. I will fuck you up with a chain.)

Death Scene:  "Enter The Young" by The Association (Well, I always did think I'd die young...)

Funeral Song:  "The Boogie Woogie" by Cab Calloway (Dance the night away...)

End Credits: "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N'Roses (Well there ya go.)



* * *

Now you do it.