Ted's On-Stage Improv Debut

So last night, All Hallow's Eve Eve, I made my debut on stage at DSI with the rest of the graduates from my Level 2 class. My first appearance was with Lisa and Jason Q, as we played Parallel Universe. I sat out the first scene (set in a bedroom) and came in after the first scene change, a beach. I ended up kicking sand all over Jason and calling hi ma skinny wimp while stealing his wife away. Then we got switched into a candy shop, and Lisa and I were kids wanting some candy, while Jason was the creepy store owner who ate all the candy rather than sell it to little kids. Anyway, somehow it switched from me holding a candybar to being in the bedroom, and I started shaking some object and asking how this thing worked--does it take batteries? Oh, and at some point, Lisa tried to spice up her marriage to Jason by inviting me into a threesome. It was hilarious.

Then we did a Le Rond, and I took over while Carolyn was in prison, and I became a spaceship pilot. Hilarity ensued as Carolyn was poorly-trained by her jailhouse teachers, and ended up tearingt he radar system apart. The final bit of this game came next, as Jake came in to pose for a nude painting, and I made some cheesy remark about his "celestial body."

The end of our show was a Conducted Story, entitled "How I Lost My Pants" (or something along those lines). It was hilarious fun to do. I wanna do it more! I was one of the last three people, but didn't make it to the end. The last two were Joe and Jason Quinn, and they were fucking hilarious. They started singing the story, and I swore they wouldn't be able to keep it up, but they did. Joe emerged victorious, and Jason played it perfectly. Sweet.

All in all, one damn satisfying night of improv. Everybody was genuinely funny. I'm going to keep the lucky North Carolina quarter Jake handed me before the show. It seemed to work well.

One of the cooler pictures ever.

Keiji Mutoh with the Triple Crown, The All Japan World Tag Team Title, and IWGP Tag Team Title.

Lots of refuse

This is pretty amazing. This guy has taken some great pictures of huge amounts of refuse and trash. Pretty impressive.
chris jordan photography

Ted Needs

So my very first post will be what inspired me to get off my duff and finally do a blog, namely the meme I first read on Kitters' blog, the "____ Needs" thing. It tickled me more than the usual "post this on your blog" thingies.

Here's how it rolls: You Google "-your name- needs" in quotation marks and then find the top 25 things you need. So....

* * *

1. Ted needs someone to be there 100% of the time.
2. Ted needs You!
3. Ted needs to learn to let go.
---(damn. truer words were never spoken.)
4. Ted needs some Governator lessons.
5. Ted needs your help!
6. Ted needs to buy long-term health care insurance.
7. Ted needs more style to go with his substantial success.
8. Ted needs Ducky to say what he needs to work out about copyright assignments.
9. Ted needs $50,000 a year.
---(Yes.)
10. Ted needs more!
---(Gimme another $50,000)
11. Ted needs for the usa and russia to SCRAMBLE ENORMOUSLY!
12. Dear old Ted needs TLC.
---(and I ain't talkin' 'bout the signing group.)
13. Ted needs to be successful and bring home the bacon.
14. Ted needs assistance with toileting for which he also takes medication.
---(so embarrassing...)
15. Ted needs to be honest and open about his feelings toward the relationship.
---(If I had only learned that a year ago...)
16. Ted needs to come back to school with your child.
---(Heh-heh...)
17. Ted needs to be checked into someplace that can help him with his sex addiction.
---(This is uncanny!)
18. Ted needs large meteors that arrive once every 120 years or so.
19. Ted needs to help finish what he helped start.
20. Ted needs a licking from me.
---(So perverted...)
21. Ted needs some digital enchancing.
22. Ted needs to hear Lynne say that the company values his work.
---(Well, he needs to hear it from somebody!)
23. Ted needs a 24 hour staffed program which can assist him with taking his medications,and provide rehabilitative training, so that he can learn cooking.
24. Ted needs something bigger.
25. Ted needs to grow some balls.
26. Ted needs a second opinion.

* * *

Okay, so I did 26 instead of 25...I had to; the punchline was too perfect.