Monday, January 23, 2006

Scorning the Pervert

So this weekend, I was talking to this attractive girl, and she told me I was so old, I should be dating her mother. I laughed it off, but it did sort of hit me hard. Yeah, she was much younger than me, but I thought she might be fun to hang out with; the age difference between us was about the same as between me and Leesa, and we dated for three wonderful years. Being told flat out that I was old and disgusting really weighed heavy on me. Soon after that, I was with some folks that were bantering about in a friendly manner, and this guy I barely know said (to me) something along the lines of "bald guys are losers who never get laid." Well, I laughed that one off too, but it really hurt to have something I *am* self-conscious about pointed out loudly in a group of people. You might as well have a retarded person in the same bantering situation and rag on them for being retarded. Why not just go whole hog and crack on how old I am and what a pitiful pervert I am?

Anyway, I wasn't having a particularly energizing weekend up to that point, and after those two bombshells dropped, the weekend took a decidedly downward turn. I took a long look in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. I ended up not leaving the confines of my four walls all Sunday, and pretty much severed contact with the outside world. Not a productive day. Monday was remarkably similar, but I did manage to go to work. I'll try to be perkier for Tuesday, but I'm not making any promises; I know myself too well.

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